Getting Started: How to run a meet up group

• Decide your purpose

Are you looking to meet up to play board games, watch bi+ films or go spelunking? Do you want to build a commuity that works together on visibility projects? Discusses film theory? Crotchets a giant pan flag? Or do you simply want to give people a place to relax in company where they don’t have to be so on their guard? Are you trying to build a sober space? A support group?

Once you know what you want to achieve, the rest falls into place fairly easily. A venue is likely to suggest itself - you can’t go kayaking in the backroom of a pub - and most towns and cities have limited options. There’s rarely such a thing as a perfect venue, but if you balance the needs of your potential attendees as best you can, you will be fine.

• FInd a venue

Pubs and bars where you can book a table are a good option for many, but do remember that this might keep sober people away. A café might be a better option. Community centres can be hired free in many areas, especially if you’re a representative of an underserved group. Don’t be afraid to ask. For activites that tie you to a particular venue - like pottery throwing, golf or waterskiing - try to pick one that’s broadly affordable, and look for group discounts.

Consider access needs when you’re searching for your venue. Step-free access is just the start - you should consider the accessibility of the toilets, ambient noise, seating and availablilty of food, and decide if you’re hosting a child-friendly space.

If possible your venue should have free parking nearby and be accessible on public transport. If the venue sells food and drink, the prices should be on the lower side. Its a good idea to match your venue to the type of person your’re tying to build the space for - a city centre bar close to local office buildings is better for a professional group, but a suburban cafe suits people with young families.

Try and visit your potential venues to get a feel for them. It’s a good idea to ask the manager or owner if it’s ok for you to take over a couple of tables. Let them know if you expect your attendees to spend money or not and be explicit that you’re a bi+ group. You want to find out as early as possible if there’s the chance of hostility from venue staff.

• Decide your frequency

Most groups meet once a month, but it can vary from once a quarter to several times a week depending on your needs. If you’re going to be the only one organising everything, be realistic about what you can do. A single afternoon every third Saturday is much easier to commit to than all day once a week. It’s easy to overcommit when you’re enthusiastic, but it leads to burnout and if you want your group to last you need to look after yourself.

• Spread the word

You don’t need to spend any money on advertising your group, but it’s a good idea to make couple of graphics (if you’re not a designer, free tools like Canva are useful) that you can share. Meetup.com is a great place to target people who are already looking for queer groups to join. Think about the social media your potential attendees might use and make a page for your group on that. Think LinkedIn for professionals, Facebook for older people or Instagram for Gen Z and Millenials. Send your bi+ friends the graphic along with a personal invitation to join you, and ask them to post about it. If your venue has listings online, ask to add your event, and if they’ve got a notice board you could consider putting up a poster. You can also email us, and we’ll add your group to our listings (interactive map coming soon).

• Mark your space

It’s necessary to make your group visible to newcomers who might not recognise any faces. You could plant a bi or pan flag in the middle of your table, or use a larger flag as a table cloth. Be aware that using overt symbols of any sexuality may discourage people who are not yet out from attending. You could use an object instead. Pick something that wouldn’t normally be in that space, or something bright and eyecatching, and let your attendees know in advance what it will be. A stuffed unicorn is used by many groups, and Bi+ Brixton uses a large plush broccoli.

If you’d like some resources to make available to your attendees, we are happy to provide theem. Find out more here.

• Take a friend

It can take time for a people to find out about a new group, and it’s not unusual for the host to spend the first one alone. There’s only so much you can do to put the word out, and bi+ communities can be hard to find. This can be very disappointing and make you feel like you’ve made a lot of effort for nothing. Give it time, and take a friend along to talk to. If no one turns up, at least you’ve spent some valuable one on one time with someone you love.

• On the day

Aim to arrive in advance of your start time, just in case anyone else is early. If you’re meeting in a private business like a cafe or pub, you should buy a drink at the bar - you’re taking up at least one table and while others are likely to spend a few pounds you should guarantee someone definitely does by doing so youself. You’ll also build goodwill with the owners or managers.